June 27, 2012

• I miss xangazon (or whatever that thing is called)….. Listening to:  Circa ’46 -The Rocket Summer (His new album is really good and I definitely have some favorites out of it already )

   

  I’m not very good at updating, I know. Plus, I realize I have very little excuse wise since I’ve been out of school for over a month…going on 2 months :S.

  So since this past Monday I’ve been doing really intense job training from 9:45am-6:30pm. There’s a LOT for us to learn, so it seems like a lot…but it really isn’t. We’ve already done 2 days of learning one out of the 3 programs that we have to learn. Tomorrow and Friday we learn another program. Next week we learn the last program, do some observations and refreshers etc. I feel really good about it. It’s like….total immersion almost? I’m exhausted by the end of the day, but it feels good to actually be working and stuff.

  I finished up my summer class, Lifespan and Development, last week even though it was supposed to end this week. So hopefully I’ll find out my grade Friday since it officially ends tomorrow ( I took the 2 tests on the same day since I had to leave a week early for the training I mentioned above). This will be my first official grade at my new school since all my credits from Eastern just came in as Transfer credits without giving me the grade. They’ll count towards my nursing stuff, but I won’t have an actual grade for them. Kind of sad, but it’s also cool to be able to start over.

  I’m definitely at a weird place right now. So much transitioning between the new school, new job, new church and just general people stuff. Maybe I’m transitioning as a person as well. Sometimes I just feel so off and like no matter what I do I’m just rubbing someone the wrong way. Who knows. Maybe it’s just waiting for everything to settle into a normal-ish routine. I know myself well enough at this point (at least in this aspect) to say I have difficulty dealing with change, especially if it’s not something I wanted to change myself (to be fair, there are few things I try to change on my own since I’m very much a creature of habit).

  I guess I’m becoming very aware of how hard it can be to push myself in new people situations. I used to categorize myself as super friendly, and not that I’m not friendly, but I think it’s more complicated than that. I am friendly, but I’ve kind of ignored the fact that I’m also introverted and it can be hard to pull out of my shell and push myself to be like “Hi, how are you?” or simple stuff like that to people I don’t know that well. Somehow I manage, but I’m becoming more self aware and realizing it is a challenge, I guess. Like, at my new church I find it’s really easy for me to pull back instead of socializing. Or socialize, but let everyone else talk instead of putting myself out there. Maybe I’m just growing as a person and letting other people be more important than myself?? I don’t really know. But it’s interesting. I’ve noticed I’m more apt to talk about random stuff with someone than myself. It’s like, nooo I don’t want to talk to you about myself, let’s talk about something random so I don’t have to talk about me details, cool beans.

  I don’t know.

  I’m reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave right now. I haven’t gotten through that much of it because I haven’t been the greatest about managing my time when I get back from work, but it’s good so far. It’s one of those novels that really makes me wonder about the style that it is written and where the author is going with it. Plus it’s a British book, so that’s kind of neat.

  Work has infiltrated my brain and I want to talk endlessly about it now, haha. I can’t, but I want to go on and on about it. How nice everyone is there (especially the manager/director person, she is such a sweetheart and I’m so incredibly thankful she is not like psychoboss that I’ve had before !), how adorable the kids are going to be and how much I am all around excited for this long training to be over……….

  I’m sort of restless too, but I’m hoping once I’m able to make better time for myself I’ll be able to exercise and that will help with that. I think part of it is trying to assert myself from my family and they’re a little crazy about what I can do with the car and they want to know where I am all the time. So it’s that weird…compromise/balance between having independence and feeling like a child because your family wants to hold your hand and make sure you do everything they say and you’re like a robot or something. I’m gonna figure something out to get out of the house often too…..

  Currently Life Will Write the Words By Rocket Summer see related

  So apparently xangazon is now in the toolbar??? That’s cool….

   

  This is random, but I have to end this somehow..

  I’ve been trying to be more thankful and stuff, and I saw someone write something funny to be thankful for (well, it gave me a giggle)….

  So yeah, I’m thankful for toilet paper.

  But seriously.

  Stuff I am thankful for

  1. Having a car to use (it’s not my car, but who cares)
  2. Having a house to live in (just somewhere in general is really nice)
  3. Having air conditioning for the summer
  4. Having a job (especially that it is not retail. A job is a job, but boy, am I thankful it is not retail!!!)
  5. Having enough food to eat (and plenty to stuff my face with, even though I should know better)
  6. the fact that I am getting a paycheck this coming Monday (I’m excited to finally be able to pay my own bills, pay my mom back for some stuff I’ve bought etc )
  7. working somewhere that does not make me feel like I have to compromise my morals or something ridiculous like that/working somewhere that I actually like the stuff they’re having us do/what they stand for etc
  8. unconditional love; from God, my stepmom and other people in my life
  9. that I’m not stagnant. I’m continually able to be moving forward and making conscious choices to be or not be a certain way. I choose my own destiny, so to speak. Well, at least I choose my own behavior. Hopefully that makes sense…..
  10. Even if I didn’t have all these things on this list to be thankful for, I would have others things to be thankful for

  What is going on in your life? What are you thankful for?

   

  So yeah, that is the Kim update for right now. I might update tomorrow. We shall see.

   

  p.s.- xanga is not working on firefox for me…anyone else having that problem?! grrrr firefox!

  • 10:23 pm
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