I’m getting my #wisdom #teeth out tomorrow. It’ll be interesting? C’s coming with me so that she can see how I am all drugged up afterwards. That will just be more enjoyable for everyone else, I imagine.

I’m happy about it in a sense because I could not have done this by myself just not that long ago. For the longest time I had a fear about being taken advantage of or something when I was under and completely helpless. Yes, I’ll admit I’m not exactly thrilled with it, but I feel more comfortable about it now.

Now I’m distracted…la de dah

I feel like I have a list of things I enjoy winding down with. What I do really depends on the day though.

In no particular order:
1. Read
2. #Journal/ramble write
3. Just sit there like a log for 5 minutes or more (this is often on really stressful days where everything has been going a mile a minute)
4. Talk to people
5. Create something/mess around with something
6. Video games

I think that’s it? For some reason I’m not usually very good at coming up with lists all at once. I was going to say what I did today, but seeing as I didn’t get up until like 11:30…..That isn’t exactly stressful.

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Ah, this makes me sad and bittersweet at the same time. I think maybe when we went into New York City and saw Spring Awakening. My ex took me for my 15th birthday. I had a lot of nice times with my ex now that I think about it, but unfortunately all of it wasn’t good because we split. *shrug* How else are you supposed to talk about an ex, anyway?

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Also, in other news, I was considering majoring in math (double majoring in math and English and getting a masters in Education later). Fortunately @statelesspilot@revelife convinced me otherwise. I’ll be sticking with English and Secondary Edu. Crisis averted!

I wanted to wait until the day before I move in to make a list/thing about all this, but I feel like doing it now.

Things I will miss in college
1. getting to choose what food I have (and even having the option to make food if I so please)
2. privacy
3. my dogs
4. some of the familiarity?
5. my church

Things I definitely won’t miss
1. my aunt
2. my high school (maybe some of the friends/teachers, but definitely not the high school)
3. my town in general (the familiarity, yes, but prob not much else)

Wow, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be?

Hi again. Too much is going on it seems. Yet, part of it is that I’m kind of like a chicken running around with its head cut off? I feel like that at least.

I can’t believe I’m going to be moving into Eastern in 25 days (August 27th). Somehow it feels like its crept up on me and I don’t have everything ready that I need. I shouldn’t press the panic button, but that’s how it is sometimes, I guess. I have all of my stuff for school; it’s just a matter of getting everything [somewhat] organized. Also, in regards to the 25 days title…I think if I manage to get any other blog posts in before I go I’m going to count down . I need to stop neglecting my xanga/revelife (more on the revelife business later).

Anyway, I’ve bought 2 of my textbooks already: biology and contemporary issues in education. The other 3 are kind of problematic. I can’t find my math textbook since it’s a “looseleaf” format; my health textbook is basically brand new (aka I can’t find it for much cheaper anywhere else D: ). I’ll figure it out. I’ve already emailed my math teacher and asked him if I can get an earlier version of the math textbook. There’s a cheap one on amazon, but it’s from 2002. I definitely would not buy that without getting the instructor’s permission. I just hope I didn’t come off like a total ass by emailing him asking about that.

Speaking of emailing, I emailed Dr. James (the teacher I met on the train when I was still interning) since I’m now in her English 202 class.

My absolute final schedule is as such:

Bio Lecture MWF 9-9:50am (there wasn’t enough room in the lab…I’ll take a lab sci next semester!)
Math 139/Number Systems MWF 12-12:50pm (This class is technically for elementary ed majors, but the guy told me I could still take it)
Health Tues 4-6:45pm
FYR/R,R,R/Intro to College (whatever you want to call it) Monday 2-2:50
Contemporary Issues in Edu Tues/Thurs 1-3 (this class is going to be such a killer if it’s not interesting)
English 202 Tues/Thurs 11-12:15

Yes, for the record, I do have my schedule memorized. It kind of happens when I had to write it tons of times into my planner! I have to show how I customized my planner !

This was my planner before I went crazy psycho artsy on it!! I wasn’t thrilled with the way that it looked on the outside, but I liked the layout on the inside, so I dealt with it knowing that I would be customizing it anyway. I love art opportunities.
http://www.amazon.com/Day-Runner-Explosion-Recycled-816-905A/dp/B0050I9M6A/ref=sr_1_22?s=office-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1312338554&sr=1-22

Zoomed out view of the front

Zoomed in parts of the front

Zoomed out back

Zoomed in parts of back

Yea, so I’m pretty cool like that. It’s covered in plastic tape so that my fun time collaging will not be ruined with the wear and tear. I’m so excited to use it now….flowers just normally aren’t me, but I felt bad just completely covering it up, so I made it work .

That’s it in the way of college news.

Today was mostly event heavy in the morning.

C had a procedure she had to get done with her jaw. There’s something or other with it going on where she can’t open her jaw all the way :S. So they had to put her under and she’s not always very good with stuff like that since she has anxiety/panic disorder and everything. So I was mostly there for moral support and whatever. I just hope that what happened to her doesn’t happen to me because the doctor was explaining that can sometimes happen when people get scarring in their gums/jaw after they get them out. I’ll hopefully be getting mine out before I go to school. My upper left one is partially out; I can feel a partially emerged tooth. The tooth doesn’t hurt, but it needs to be checked out so I know if I’m getting them removed or not. I told my mom that it really doesn’t matter to me one way or another, but I have no problem keeping them in if the dr. says they aren’t going to cause problems (they probably will, but I’m trying to be optimistic). The other 3 are still gummy (wow, that sounds weird). Anyway, the procedure was not that long, but recovery and everything was. It was really funny seeing C get be all loopy and everything after her stuff was wearing off. I can only imagine to what extent I’m going to be like if I have to get mine out. Dunno.

We left the place where she had the procedure and went to dairy queen since her jaw was really hurting her and we got ice cream stuff.

After that I fixed up my planner and I’ve been lazying around pretty much since.

My dad is still being not nice to my stepmom. They live in DE and he hasn’t put an AC in their bedroom. She’s obese and has all sorts of health issues that that just aggravates. I hope she’s going to be ok since she said she’s not going to leave for another apartment until this weekend. I’m not sure if that’s a permanent move or what, but that situation has been on my mind. I hope it gets better soon for everyone’s sake.

I should go to bed.

‘Night.

I shouldn’t have a gap in how much I’ve been updating, but that’s life. Shame on me, but whatever. I’ll be better once I get to college, I hope :S.

So, I’ll try to summarize what’s been going on.

On July 1st I went to see my dad. I came back on the 6th because his house has no air conditioning and fleas. I was hot, grossed out and itching to the umpth degree. I just needed to leave. Bad circumstances made me leave, but it worked out because I got baptized the weekend I came back. Funny how things work out like that sometimes.

Now I’ve kind of been piggy vegging out haha.

Plus, when I was visiting my dad he bought me my computer, a 13 inch macbook pro. Unfortunately he decided that means that he’s not going to pay towards my books since he’s just contributing $1500 towards each year or semester (he wasn’t exactly clear on that). Well, my mbp was just under 1500 since I got lojack, applecare, etc. I’ll use the $100ish towards my books. At least I’m not making the mistake of going to the campus bookstore…Does anyone have any suggestions for cheap places to buy books from??

I have to say before I continue rambling that I’m really enjoying my macbook. I think my favorite thing is the 2 finger scrolling on the trackpad. I also can’t wait for the new OS, LION! I’m not sure when it’s coming out, but it said in July, so it should be soon hahahaha.

Speaking of stuff that has come out in July, I got my AP scores. I was told some were not going to come out until Mid/End of July, so I waited to get my scores. Then I thought about it and decided to check anyway. Well, I really lucked out. After one semester of AP Lit I passed with a 3! That means I get 6 credits of English at Eastern: College Writing and English 125. That will save me some money at least .

OH! I haven’t written since before I went to orientation. I had SUCH a great time! I’ve met a lot of people via Eastern’s facebook page and I met most of them at my orientation. Unfortunately, I couldn’t meet everyone since there were 6 different sessions for people, but a met a lot . I also met a lot of other random people which was awesome. My roommate wasn’t at that orientation either, but that’s ok! I’ll meet her on move in day lol. I feel like I already have a great group of friends though . All the people I’ve met are pretty awesome and I can’t wait to go back. I wasn’t really worried about making friends, but it was nice to be reassured.

We’re supposed to be going shopping for some stuff right now, but mom and Aunt are still napping. We’ll see what happens.

I can’t even remember what else I was going to talk about, but I guess I’ll hopefully remember to come back later/tomorrow.

I had to go out into nature as part of studying Emerson and transcendentalism for my American Lit. class that I took Junior year of hs. I’m cleaning out my computer at the moment, so that’s what my deal is. I’m gonna post the 2 walks. I have no idea why we did two, but after we wrote them we were supposed to write a narrative. My narrative was kind of crappy because I felt it was rushed (which it totally was!), so I kinda bs’ed it. Anyway, here are those 2 walks. I don’t know the exact dates. They were sometime in Nov. 2009.
~~~~~
Walk 1




I decided to go to a forest across the street from my house. I chose it because I always used to play in the forest and the brook that flows through it. I would splash around with my friends and we’d try to explore and find where it ended. It isn’t the same way that it was back then. Sometimes it floods and this can cause a real problem for the town. Someone decided it was a good idea to think about cutting down all the trees in the forest and building a giant retention pond for the flood water. Hopefully it won’t happen since our town elected a 1st selectman who seems to be against it. When I walked through the path of the forest, I found myself remembering how much I enjoyed coming here as a kid. While my motives are different now, the feeling is still the same. As I walked through the path I saw squirrels chasing each other and heard birds chirping. I never realized that birds chirp all the time, I thought they only did in the morning. I love crisp clean air after it’s rained. It’s almost like nature has cleansed itself of all the pollution in the air. Coming to the forest was surprisingly calming and peaceful. It was nice to get away from the rush, rush, rush of normal life. Sadly, even in the forest there is a reminder of the way we live today. Someone has left four crumpled up beer cans lying on the forest floor. Some people have used these woods for all the wrong reasons. After seeing those cans, I couldn’t help but want to read poetry. It seems like the right thing to do in the forest besides just sitting and listening. It’s ironic that I felt that the forest is tranquil because there is an abundance of noise. There are so many squirrels! One, close by, is digging and probably looking for an acorn. Others are scuttling about, up and down trees. There’s also a constant dripping off the trees from the previous rain. Ugh. Unfortunately the forest is not the only source of sound…someone just honked their horn and every so often I can see cars passing through the trees. As I walk further into the forest, I can hear the slight crackle of the leaves. The forest floor is a similar shade of brown: light brown, dark brown, yellow brown and in between…Most of the trees are bare and it’s no secret where the leaves have gone. More birds are chirping, it’s as if they are always happy. If more people were happy and optimistic like birds and we’d probably have a better world. There’s so much going on, I can’t ever believe why anyone would think of nature as “boring”. I left the forest today with a slightly better understanding of what certain romantics felt. When I was leaving the forest I understood what Emerson meant when he said that we are not truly alone in nature. We may be alone in nature, but there are animals and things all around us, so we are not truly “alone”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Walk 2




I came into a different entrance of the forest. One I knew well from exploring in my childhood. As I began to walk down the path the various animals hurried away. The path was harder to remember since it was covered in leaves. There is still a lot of trash around but not as much as there was in the other area. Leaves rustled in the wind and if you listened closely you could hear a symphony of it. It was as if nature had a slight voice you had to know and listen for. I sat listening and looking around and saw a fallen tree close by. It’s another example of the way nature changes. The tree will be used by the earth and plants around it and become a part of nature even in death. There’s a brook just up ahead that has a sweet melody almost like bells. It’s nice to be back here, but I almost don’t know what to do with myself. There’s so much to see and so much to process about my surroundings. As I walk away from that first area I began to see what looked like makeshift shelters. One was almost like a cave with sticks creating a “roof”. Another shelter is a large circle of sticks, almost like a meeting area. I wonder if people have stayed in the forest or if it is little children playing in the forest. The weather is “nicer” today than it was yesterday. It’s sunnier and slightly warmer. It’s just as calming as it was but I liked the danker weather better. Somehow it is more meditative and thought provoking. I am grateful that I have been able to come here today. It’s funny that on Thanksgiving Day people are eating with their families, but I’m sure hardly anyone has taken today as a meditative day on which we count our blessings so that we know we are truly privileged. As I got up and walked around more I saw a tree with holes from a woodpecker. I always loved to hear the typical pecking sound from them. To me, it’s always been a reminder of the cycle of nature. Trees rot out and that is just the start of something new for the still living trees and animals around it. It’s kind of like life. When one opportunity “rots”, then another comes around. There’s something peaceful and quiet about the forest that I’ve always appreciated. Sometimes we drown out the silence that is really important to listen to and I think that if more people realized that we wouldn’t have so many people all over that drowned out the world with music they don’t even pay attention to.

When I was first studying to get my permit my mom would quiz me a little bit. We would do some serious q and a, and then just to be obnoxious and funny she would ask me the same question.

“So Kim, what do you do when you see a blind person?”

I got really irritated so I continued to answer with, “Oh, you know, you run them over”. I knew the answer and she was just did it to get on my nerves .

Anyway, a couple weeks later I take my permit test and one of the questions is “A person who carries a white cane is what? How should you respond?”. Needless to say I got a laugh out of that one. For the record I did get it correct.

I graduated yesterday. The whole idea seems absurd, and yet, somehow I did. It’s funny. I feel accomplished and like I’ve grown tremendously in the past thirteen years. My mom had me clean and sort through some old school work; I was shocked by that growth I have achieved. I could barely form letters; then I formed words, sentences, paragraphs etc. Initially my handwriting was big and sloppy; now it is small, flow-y, and somewhat scripty . Those are just minor details that are easily noticeable on the surface. When I take the time to think I realize that I was born without that which I almost take for granted now; I was absent of knowledge; I was uneducated. Purely through the blessing of my environment have I been able to learn everything I have; other people are not as lucky. Throughout my thirteen years in my town’s exceptional public school system I learned to read; I learned to write; I learned to hone both those skills; I learned to paint; I learned to draw; I learned. This fascinates and amazes me; my teachers’ dedication has taken me to where I am academically at this point.




My astonishment doesn’t end there; I am also in awe over myself and changes that have taken place because of me. Over thirteen years my interests have stayed virtually the same. I’m not sure if this is due to my not exploring many diverse clubs in high school (or even just that my high school didn’t have very many clubs of such to begin with), or that I am just a person rooted to the core in certain interests. Who knows? This was just encouragement in the right direction. Sometimes I wonder if I’m deluding myself into thinking I should be this or should not do that; sometimes I just doubt myself and where I’m going. I don’t mind that, but it was a good reassurance to see that where I’ve come from is not just a more recent passion.




I also found some reassurance in the fact that my grades were typically A’s and B’s in both elementary school and middle school. Somewhere between middle school and freshman year of high school I stopped caring about putting out the extra effort to make sure my grades were fantastic. Maybe part of it was due to my being able to get by fairly well without studying in middle school. I honestly don’t remember. I only remember that I came back with full force effort junior year of high school because I realized that I had to. I slacked off my freshman and sophomore year of high school; my freshman year GPA was around a 2.68 and my sophomore year was around a 2.75. I didn’t try; I didn’t do my best, and it only hurt me. I put forth most of my effort during my junior year even though I got a little distracted second semester; I had a 3.47 GPA for the whole year. People think that senior year is the year that no one puts any effort into, and that no one cares about it. I didn’t take that mentality; senior year was my year to shine and prove how far I could really go. I’m proud of what I accomplished this year. I finished off first semester with A’s and A-‘s and I finished second semester with those same grades but a B in an AP/Honors level English class (I was only in it for one semester). With those grades I received a 3.77 GPA for my senior year. I’ve learned the power of doing my best and putting forth the effort. I’m taking that with me to college next year. I refuse to cheat myself out of what I deserve by being lazy and doubting my abilities.




After realizing what thirteen years of intense education has done for me I can’t wait to see what my time at college will do. At the risk of sounding cliché I will dare to say that I am only moving up in the world.